Jealousy is only indirectly due to partner behavior
If jealousy dominates a partnership, those affected should ask what is really behind it. The reasons for this often lie in one's own personality and have nothing to do with the behavior of the partner. In many cases, an open conversation in the partnership can help against distrust. However, if everyday life is massively shaped by jealousy, therapeutic help should be sought, as experts explained.
Where does jealousy come from? Often the behavior of the partner is the trigger for jealousy, but the cause is usually based on their own personality. Anyone who suffers because the partner speaks with the attractive service or the partner talks to the petrol station attendant should definitely ask where the distrust comes from. “It is normal to think about the partner and who he is spending time with. But it is not normal to feel anger and aggression, ”explains Elmar Basse, psychologist and couple therapist from Hamburg. These negative feelings are harmful to a partnership.
The psychologist explains that those affected should first tell themselves that there is no reason for suspicion. “Talking to your partner can help you get that certainty,” says Basse. But that doesn't always work. "Many know from the head that they have no reason to be jealous, but still cannot avoid the negative feelings." Therefore jealousy should then put all negative thoughts aside. "If you know that there is no real danger, then such is a conscious one Thought stops possible, ”explains the psychologist. If negative thoughts arise, they should be blocked and devoted to other things.
In more serious cases, consultation with a therapist is essential. "If a person affected can no longer think of anything else, he even spies on the partner and tries to control him, that is not a normal form of jealousy," explains Gritli Bertram, social worker from Hanover. “In particularly bad cases, there can be violence between the partners. Therefore, it is advisable to consult a specialist at the first signs of pathological jealousy. Oversized fears of loss and low self-esteem are often behind it. ”(Ag)
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