Constructive criticism- How it best appeals to your counterpart
Finding the right tone is often not so easy. The well-intentioned advice on humiliation can quickly become. But constructive criticism can be learned.
Heidi Klum's casting show "Germanys Next Top Model" serves as a prime example for "practicing false criticism". There the moderator shows little mercy with the candidates. "You are like a moderate meal. "One of the participants replied. If one of your services fails to achieve the desired performance, she will criticize very quickly. You are rarely constructive.
For most of us, negative feedback has lost nothing in the job. If you really want your employee or colleague to put an end to disturbing behavior, you will hardly be able to achieve this with such announcements. Among other things, feedback also serves to bring people together.
The tone makes the music With a tone that is perceived as outrageous, you hurt your counterpart in his self-esteem. In such a situation, many simply turn their ears to pulling through. So how can criticism be expressed that leaves a positive impression on the person concerned?
The most important thing for Jana Völkel-Kitzmann is that the criticized person is not exposed in front of others. "So that negative feedback can be accepted, the most important thing is that the criticized person can save his face," she explains.
In seminars, she teaches managers how to constructively criticize. If you can do that, you can say a lot of negative things without the other person bothering you. On the contrary, the other will endeavor to change the faulted condition. It is relatively easy and quick to find out when a face can be lost.
You just have to put yourself in the position of the criticized and ask yourself whether you could accept the negative feedback in the form presented.
Do not act spontaneously If you want to criticize constructively, you should never act spontaneously, recommends career adviser Svenja Hofert. In angry situations, it is advisable to sleep through the whole situation first, in order to convey as little negative emotions as possible with the feedback. The next day, most of them could express themselves in a more factual and better structured way. In addition, criticism should be announced, recommends Hofert. This gives the person time to prepare for the conversation.
Linguistic lectures à la "Always do it" should also be avoided. Völkel-Kitzmann sees that this will only provoke rejection in the other. Instead, better formulate I-messages and say: "I have a lot of work because you ...". It is at least as important as the ego messages to make the criticism as concrete as possible and to illustrate it with many examples.
We often react thin-skinned When there was negative feedback, many thin-skinned responded and put every word on the gold scales. Irritation can be avoided by giving the feedback giver more carefully. The voice should also sound firm and calm - never thunderous or shrill. Otherwise the other person can quickly feel attacked again. A very important rule is: Negative feedback should only ever be given privately.
In order for the words to be followed by deeds, there should be a target agreement at the end of each feedback discussion. It specifies when and how the criticized behavior should be stopped
Some rules for successful feedback 1. Give feedback promptly
2. Contact the person concerned directly
3. Obtain consent
4. Formulate I messages; assess the situation from a first person perspective
5. work with concrete examples; describe the situation (numbers-data-facts)
6. No generalizations
7. give balanced positive and negative (possibly 2: 1 - rule)
8. Introduce any behavioral suggestion or request. (fr)
Image: Stephanie Hofschlaeger / pixelio.de