Domestic violence: Men are also beaten

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Domestic violence against men is often taboo

Men are affected by domestic violence almost as often as women. This was the result of an investigation as part of the current health study by the Robert Koch Institute (RKI). However, male victims of violence are less likely to take advantage of help and keep their suffering out of shame. Experts still advise those affected to speak about their experiences of violence in a self-help group, with a psychotherapist or in a counseling center.

Domestic violence against men is often concealed from victims. Domestic violence against men is still a taboo subject in society. Most of the time, men feel a much greater emotional burden from the experience of violence victims than women, according to an investigation by the RKI. "This can be interpreted as an indication of a lack of a socially accepted victim role for men," write the experts from the RKI. "The subject of domestic violence is highly taboo overall. to be beaten, "explains psychotherapist Christa Roth-Sackenheim to the news agency" dpa ". According to the evaluation of the RKI, almost as many men are affected by domestic violence as women, who are primarily perpetrators of psychological and physical violence in the domestic area as well as in partnerships or in the family. In contrast, men are more likely to become violent offenders in the workplace and in public spaces.

Men often feel great shame as victims of domestic violence Klaus P. from Hanover was silent long before he turned his problems to a psychotherapist. He repeatedly experienced violence in his partnership for eight years. “At first I thought that my wife was just stressed out. If I do everything for her to relax, the violent attacks will stop, ”said Klaus P. But something else happened. The 48-year-old was repeatedly beaten by his wife, thrown at with objects or maltreated with kicks. A black eye, a cracked rib, cuts to the arms and face - these were just a few of the injuries Klaus P. endured. "There was another argument on a Sunday. Suddenly my wife took a knife from the kitchen drawer and wanted to ram it into my stomach. I was just able to knock the knife out of her hand and my arm was injured, ”says the 48-year-old. "When I was asked in the hospital how the injury came about, it broke out of me and I decided that it couldn't go on like this." By then he had already withdrawn from family and friends. “Looking back, I have had a very lonely and sad life for years. I thought nobody could understand me. Who gets beaten up by his wife? I kept thinking about suicide during this time, ”says Klaus P. The 48-year-old finally decided on psychotherapy, which - as he says - saved his life. He moved out of the shared apartment and separated from his wife.

Psychotherapists, self-help groups and counseling centers support victims of domestic violence In addition to psychotherapists, there are self-help groups and counseling centers in which men who have been victims of domestic violence receive help and support. "Affected men can also contact us," a spokeswoman for the victims' aid Weißer Ring in Mainz told the news agency. Telephone numbers 116006 would provide contacts and immediate help. Roth-Sackenheim also advises professional support. "You shouldn't to their buddies at the regulars' table, but to a support group or a therapist. " A violent relationship can make you mentally ill. It is particularly dangerous if the person concerned persuades himself that he has to come to terms with the situation. "This way you organize your whole life around the partner's disorder," explains Roth-Sackenheim.

Victims of domestic violence are often men who want to behave particularly fairly and therefore do not defend themselves at all or only later. In addition, many of them think that they are to blame for the partner's behavior or at least have provoked it. "This phenomenon can also be found in beaten women," says the psychotherapist. Perpetrators, on the other hand, are not very sensitive and use violence because they believe they cannot help themselves otherwise. (Ag)

Image: Rainer Sturm /

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